Parable of the hollow.

In the west, the moon descends below the horizon and takes the darkness with it. In the east, the sun rises above the mountains and brings about another dawn. I am here, somewhere in the middle; the moment in which night meets day, the civil twilight, where a grey sky transforms into blue. A forgiving breeze blows about me while cumulus clouds take shape within my reach. Standing in the sky I feel peace vibrate through me. My calmness is broken as I become conscious to the fact that I am “standing in the sky”. Looking down in panic; gravity and logic grab me and I fall! Plummeting downwards, extremities flailing, I descend into unconsciousness.

Reviving into faint lucidity, I discover that I am in a cavern crafted of glaciers. A fire burns ahead of me and nought else is present except ice and shadows. From a distance, I watch the flames twist, fluid-like, coupled with the air. The logs at the base pop and splutter. A quasi-red radiance can be seen in the cracks of the timber. Stepping closer I experience a sensation of awe, akin to walking upon sacred ground. It quickly passes. My brain feels dazed. I sit, crossed legged, an arm length away from the fire and peer into its light.

The blaze transitions from shades of orange into a brilliant blue. A tender, yet sardonic voice addresses me, “The day of return has finally arrived. Welcome back to Calamity. You should not concern yourself greatly with how you have come to be here. Besides the origin of it all was taken from you; memories deemed unnecessary.” Bemused by this, I respond, “My return? This is the first instance that I have walked on this frozen grou-.” The flame expands while the voice booms, “DO NOT LIE TO YOURSELF AS COUNTLESS HAVE DONE TO YOU! YOU ARE OF THIS PLACE!” Returning to normal the flame whispers, almost to himself, “Even though your past is sealed, some feelings should have slipped through.” Like a hammer striking a rock and cracking it, his words ring in my mind. He speaks the truth.

A vague memory appears; a fragile ember, fanned by the conversation. I manage to glimpse it just as it vanishes. Quivering in disbelief, I utter, “What are you?” The flame chuckles and an image of a bear growling as it corners a thief in its den emerges in my mind. I feel the blood leave my face as it answers, “I am older than the universe, I was present when the sound of Om was murmured across the emptiness, I bore witness to the six days of creation, I was there at the first bite of the apple and I shall be here until the turning of the wheel; when the cycle ends and another begins.” These words echoed within the chamber. Enthralled, I enquire, “Are you a god then?” “Fool! I precede them. Theirs might be called the first profession but mine has no title. Your time amongst the humans has infected you.”

A stray thought comes to me which I echo in asking, “For all your claimed might, surely this fire can not be your appearance.” In a flat tone the voice answers, “I take this shape so that you may communicate with me. My true form is something that you can not comprehend. If you were not my conception but merely human, you would be erased from time by looking at me. The duality of this element also appeals to me. I favoured it, out of the primordial five, when it was born. Fire brings about obliteration but contains the quintessence to forge existence.” This response disturbs me, for this poetic contradiction is how I have always regarded fire. A cracking sound, originating from the walls, breaks our conversion and I walk over and place my hand on the frozen surface in thought.

Encircling the fire with my hand still positioned on the cold, hard ice-wall, I splinter the silence, “Wait a minute…do you mean that I am not human?” Watching eyelessly the blaze replies, “A component of you is. You were constructed in this place and sent to live with the mortals until I deemed you ready. Your experience, the twenty seven years you spent on this planet, will assist you in your choice.” As it speaks thoughts of pulsing neon orbs and a basin of stars invade my mind. Stopping my feet and turning to face the voice, I ask, “My choice? What choice do you speak of?” “I will show you the future of mankind or rather its fall. From this you will decide to either continue this path or to avoid it altogether. Prepare yourself.” Later, once I awoke, I knew that no amount of preparation would have helped me.

Shift

Running through the mud with my SSG08 sniper rifle in my hands (I had to abandon my other equipment) I knew that this war was too misleading. One year of zero ground gained on either side; what were our generals planning? The lives lost were devastating. I could hear the vehicles of the One-Nation approaching. My two surviving comrades and I were blood stained and broken but we knew that we had to keep moving. All we had to do was make it over the bridge; half a click away now. Our pursuers, thankfully, stop on the rise before the border point. I breathe a sigh of relief as I see our colonel standing on the bridge silhouetted by the lights of his humvee. Two gunshots break my reprieve. The trigger is pulled one final time and I realise that we have been betrayed. The last thing I see is my colonel and his handgun at his side with smoke coming out of the barrel.

Shift

Standing on the podium watching the crowd below me, I feel proud. Proud in the fact that I would be the one to save them. With the sky turning from blue to black I began my epilogue… “The government is corrupt; the people are the same and this corruption poisons the land and destroys everything. We fight for the things we believe in, even when those beliefs are long since dead. Others fight to stay alive. Like all of you before me, there is blood on these hands. Biological deterrents are not deterrents anymore but have been unleashed to cull the weak and poor. This was foolish of them. They have lost control. The diseases have turned on the ones who set them on the world. No one is safe...this is a fitting thing. Do not fear, for I am here to bring about an end to this cataclysm. I give you salvation in the form of death. I have launched three tactical nuclear warheads which will detonate in ten seconds. So, rejoice my people; our suffering is at an end. Look towards the horizon and witness the cleansing light that is destruction.”

Shift

Moving through the garbage for any item of value is the life we know. The children, including myself, refer to this place as the Grim Fields. It is not garbage that we search through but unknown numbers of dead, human bodies…human debris. Much of our day is spent here looking for scraps that we could use and sell. The findings protect us from been used and sold ourselves. Pushing myself between a charred woman and man (my senses are numb to it all); I squeeze through and find that today is my lucky day. Wedged between the dirt and corpses is three glass bottles. The picture on the glass is the same as the one that I remember seeing on a rusted board by the side of a road I once walked passed. The people on the board were smiling while holding the bottles. A smile cracks through the dirt on my face also, because tonight I shall trade these for some food (not much though). I shall fill the emptiness in my belly a little and prolong becoming a part of the Grim Fields, unlike my parents.

Shift…shift…shift…

Immeasurable times I moved from one body to another, experiencing their lives through them. I stole, raped and killed. I was tortured, mutilated and killed in return. I started massacres and ended nations. Poverty along with disease was the bedfellow of war. The landscape of the world was physically changed by the greed and destruction of the major powers. When the resources were depleted and the radioactive ash settled; the war finally ended. However, a more primal and savage conflict arose during this period - a fight for existence. Time and again, blood and death was what I knew. Blood and death was the future. Blood and death IS the future.

I awake yet again on the floor of the cavern with involuntary tears running down my face. The visions stop and I am suddenly in the present. Despair embraces me but I manage to cry, “Why?” The fire remains orange for the space of three breaths and then transforms once more, “I have suffered through an eon of this chaos. Every cycle has resulted with the humans self-destructing. It is not in my power to break this eternity or rather I am not permitted to, however I discovered a technicality. You! I created one with the influence to end it all…forever. The moment is at hand. Gratify my yearning and please decide on the fate of Everything.”

Regaining some form of decorum, I wipe my face and steady my resolve. After all that I have witnessed, there is no choice. I stand up, gaze directly at the flames and say, “People are callous and wicked. They corrupt easily and disregard the opinions of others. This is their state at most points, nevertheless there are moments when their capacity for compassion, love and hope have no measure. You may have given me the choice but I do not think so highly of myself to speak on behalf of the universe.” “You are a foo-”, the voice tried to interject but I cut it off, “Let me finish! As I was saying, I can only choose for myself. Life is the path that I desire. No matter the anguish I shall live with optimism; the aspiration for change. Besides peace is the simple escape.” The fires erratic movement became a rhythmic motion and its words were venom-tipped as it spat, “I curse you! You will remember each life you live. Sentiments of affection and kindness will be replaced by loss and misery. Your desolation will be as mine is and you will regret your conclusion. Now be gone from this place!” I start to drift upwards but before I reach the ceiling, I smile, mirthlessly and say, “To regret is to be human.”

~

The Sandman.